Ash Wednesday
Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21
©Suzanne Grimmett
John Donne, in his Devotions upon Emergent Occasions, written in early 17th century London as the plague bells rang and the population decimated and Donne himself lay on a sick bed, struggling with a terrible illness he had been told was the plague.
Given that we are in an emergent occasion of our own this year, I thought he might have something to say to us.
He writes, in a modern translation;
If I were merely a body—dust and ashes—I might protest to the Lord, who made me of this dust and will one day gather up these ashes. God’s hand was the wheel upon which this clay vessel was shaped, and also the urn in which these ashes will be preserved. My dust and ashes form the temple of the Holy Spirit—could marble be more precious? Why, then, this mistreatment of my body? But no, I am more than dust and ashes. I am also a soul, and on that grounds I bring my case before you, my God. Why isn’t my soul as sensible as my body? Why doesn’t my soul have the same early warnings about sin as my body feels toward illness? Why doesn’t a pulse quicken in my soul at the approach of temptation, and why don’t tears in my eyes alert me to spiritual sickness?[1]
In the Bible reading you heard Jesus telling us the dangers of parading our spirituality- showing off as if we are better than others. We all want people to like us and speak well of us- this is normal. We also like to see ourselves as good, kind, unselfish and non-judgmental. Yet if we are honest, we will admit that not everything about our lives is pure and beautiful. Despite the good works we may show to others, inside we hide many mixed motivations, selfish feelings and inconsiderate thoughts. We can find our thoughts and even our actions well down a track that is death-dealing rather than life-giving, and, as Donne says, we are often not good at recognising the early signs that we are headed in the wrong direction, either as an individual or as a society. When we look at the climate, at the signs of environmental degradation and the inequitable distribution of food and other resources on this earth, we should acknowledge that corporately, and not just personally, we are not good at reading the early warning signs and changing direction. But we come to Ash Wednesday dealing with our own stuff as a first step. When the wonderful writer and theologian G.K Chesterton was asked by a radio announcer what he thought was the matter with the world, he answered, “I am”. There is wisdom in this, even though it can be difficult to face up to, but in some ways it is comforting to acknowledge that we are all in this together- none of us can claim to be holier and better than another.
I think we all have a big decision in life to make- do we want to be people of deep, honest spirituality or do we just want to just put on a show and look like we are spiritual? Do we want to be open and real with ourselves and God, or are we just going to pretend and hide?
When children do something wrong and they hide it, we want them to open up and tell us not because we want them to feel really guilty and be punished, but because we know there is a barrier to their relationship with their parents and others when they carry the burden of having done something they feel or know is wrong. We want them to be free from that.
We might imagine it is the same in our relationship with God- all of our pretending that we don’t have sin in our lives can mean that there are barriers between us and God and between us and one another. We all long for real relationship, but we need to have the courage to be open and acknowledge where we need to say sorry. In ancient times people would cover their head in ashes to show their desire for forgiveness. We will use just a small smear of ashes today to show sorrow for the fact that we have not always thought, said and done as we would like and because by our action and inaction we have hurt one another.
We do this not to feel guilty, but to be free.
We do this in the knowledge that we are the beloved of God and the assurance that there is nothing we have done or can do that could make God love us less.
We do this as a step to say, we don’t want to pretend or cover up anymore, but want to be real with one another.
We do this because we choose to live with greater courage and hope.
John Donne, as he reflects, finds his way to the only place where there is relief to be found- the source of all mercy and the God who astounds us with love and forgiveness despite all that we are and all that we have become. He writes;
Will God make a watch and leave out the spring? Will God infuse us with grace once, but not again? No, we’re not abandoned. Though I may be a prodigal son, somehow God has chosen not to disown me. After distributing our portion of the inheritance and watching us squander it, God offers us still more.
We are not abandoned. The Spirit is luring us toward more life with abundant grace, helping us to allow what needs to die to die, in order that we may be free to live and to love.
May God go with us as we journey through this season of Lent.
+Amen
[1] Undone: A Modern Rendering of John Donne’s Devotions by Philip Yancey (Rabbit Room Press: 2023)